TV

The Graham Norton Show
5x01 (5/3/09 edition, uncut repeat)
[Watch it (again) on iPlayer.]

Yep, that's it for today.

1984 gets closer every day...

The New Book Banning

Children’s books burn, courtesy of the federal government...

It’s hard to believe, but true: under a law Congress passed last year aimed at regulating hazards in children’s products, the federal government has now advised that children’s books published before 1985 should not be considered safe and may in many cases be unlawful to sell or distribute.

It really is as shocking as that sounds. For the full story, look here.

TV

Comic Relief: Funny For Money
There was some good stuff post-midnight. Not that I can really remember what happened when now...
[Watch it (again) on iPlayer.]

Let's Dance for Comic Relief
Episode 4 (of 4)
Webb won! It's only right.
[Watch it (again) on iPlayer.]

Mad Men
2x03 The Benefactor

QI
6x11 Film (extended edition)
I got several right! This may be a first. Also, brilliance from Emma Thompson.
[Watch the standard edition on iPlayer.]

TV

Comic Relief: Funny For Money
This being most of Red Nose Day 2009 (as it goes on after midnight, it'll be here again tomorrow).
[Watch it (again) on iPlayer.]

Films

The Lunch Date (1990)
[#9a in 100 Films in a Year 2009]
Oscar-winning short film. It's brilliant.

Watchmen (2009)
[2nd watch]
Still love it.

Poem of the Week: Ozymandias

aka On A Stupendous Leg of Granite, Discovered Standing by Itself in the Deserts of Egypt, with the Inscription Inserted Below
by Horace Smith

As detailed last Friday, I've had this poetic pair lined up since November to tie in with the cinema release of Watchmen. It was great, wasn't it? What do you mean you've not seen it yet?

Anyway, here's the second of the pair:

In Egypt's sandy silence, all alone,
     Stands a gigantic Leg, which far off throws
     The only shadow that the Desert knows --
"I am great OZYMANDIAS," saith the stone,
     "The King of Kings; this mighty City shows
"The wonders of my hand."-- The City's gone,--
     Nought but the Leg remaining to disclose
The site of this forgotten Babylon.

We wonder,-- and some Hunter may express
Wonder like ours, when thro' the wilderness
     Where London stood, holding the Wolf in chace,
He meets some fragment huge, and stops to guess
     What powerful but unrecorded race
     Once dwelt in that annihilated place.

Again as explained before, this was written in 1817 (published sometime in early 1818) as part of a writing competition with Smith's friend, Percy Bysshe Shelley. Shelley's poem is well-remembered and quoted; Smith's is now mainly known as a footnote. Poor guy.

Next week, no more tenuously-linked-to-new-releases poetry. Promise. (It's explicitly linked instead.)

TV

Comic Relief Does the Apprentice
Well, I wanted a Swap Belt. And how horrid was Patsy Palmer? She came across incredibly badly, walking out on a charity event because she felt personally insulted and all but saying to someone, "who are you to talk to me like that? I'm famous and you're nobody" (the first half she did say). Bitchy, selfish and egotistical.
Tune in to tomorrow's concluding few minutes (shown during the main Comic Relief event) to see who gets fired. Not that it matters one jot.
[Watch it (again) on iPlayer.]

Kilimanjaro: The Big Red Nose Climb
An impressive feat, and they've done very well for charity. Only half watched because, if I'm honest, I don't care that much about any of the people who took part. Though there was a funny bit with Gary Barlow and Chris Moyles almost-discussing Take That songs (Moyles actually being funny?! I was shocked too).
[Watch it (again) on iPlayer.]

Websites

Jon Hamm (from Mad Men) stars as Lex Luthor in this recession-based spoof. Apparently it's web-exclusive, which surely makes getting a TV star quite impressive.

It's not actually that funny (well, maybe it is to Superman fans...), but is notable for the above reason.

"Lex Luthor Bailout" with Jon Hamm - watch more funny videos

Hunt for the Special Red Dwarf SFX Covers

To celebrate the long-awaited return of Red Dwarf to satellite channel Dave, SFX has hidden 50 highly collectable Red Dwarf editions amongst copies on the newsstand.

Alongside the regular Doctor Who cover for SFX’s April issue, fans of Red Dwarf and SFX readers are in with a chance of finding one of 50 copies with a Red Dwarf cover.

For the full story -- including how this is related to the specials themselves -- look here.

Chances of actually finding one? Very, very slim. Though if you live in London I'd bet they're massively higher.

Tuesday's updates

As well as Wednesday's updates going up on time, Tuesday's are now online too. They include...

TV - Lark Rise and orangutans.

Non-Fiction - more about poetry.

Articles - including fantastic Watchmen LEGO!

TV

Damages
2x04 Hey! Mr Pibb
Purcell is switching sides more often than a tennis ball! Some potentially huge logic holes in this week's episode, but with nine still to go there's plenty of time for those to be filled.
[Watch it (again) on iPlayer.]

Mad Men
2x02 Flight 1
Some answers already. The key word being "some".

Articles: Watchmen

Once again, there's only one topic in today's articles -- Watchmen, of course. Today's lot are primarily aimed at fans of the book...

Easter Eggs (And Missing Parts) In Watchmen's Titles by Meredith Woerner
(from io9)
Any chance to admire the amazing title sequence is a good one. There's also mention of some tableaus that had to be cut -- fingers crossed the turn up in the Director's Cut!

Watchmen Director Explains His Favorite Additions & Subtractions From The Comic Book by Rick Marshall
(from MTV Splash Page)
To be honest, some of these changes and omissions I hadn't even noticed!

What If Stan Lee Wrote The Watchmen Comic Books? by Brian Warmoth
(from MTV Splash Page)
A funny idea, but rather reliant on a familiarity with Stan Lee's writing style -- something I don't have, unfortunately.

And don't forget screenwriter David Hayter's open letter to fans, which you can read here.

An Open Letter From Watchmen Screenwriter David Hayter

You may well have seen this around the web already (most sites seem to have reported on it; the original is here), but it's a well-written piece with an interesting -- and, potentially, important -- message to convey. Go on, give it a read:

AN OPEN LETTER FROM A WATCHMEN SCREENWRITER

So it has been five months since I saw my first rough cut of Watchmen, and eight days since the premiere of the film I've been working on since late in the year 2000.

The reviews are out -- Some outstanding, others rankly dismissive, which can be frustrating for the people involved, (though I can only speak for myself,) because I firmly believe that Watchmen, the novel, must be read through more than once to even have the faintest grip on it. And I believe the film is the same.

I've seen it twice now, and despite having run the movie in my head thousands of times, my two viewings still don’t' allow me to view the film with the proper distance or objectivity. Is it Apocalypse Now? Is it Blade Runner? Is it Kubrick, or Starship Troopers? I don’t know yet.

All I know is that I had a pretty amazing experience the two times I've seen it. And both viewings produced remarkably different experiences. The point is, I have listened for years, to complaints from true comic book fans, that "not enough movies take the source material seriously." "Too many movies puss out," or "They change great stories, just to be commercial." Well, I f***ing dare you to say any one of those things about this movie.

This is a movie made by fans, for fans. Hundreds of people put in years of their lives to make this movie happen, and every one of them was insanely committed to retaining the integrity of this amazing, epic tale. This is a rare success story, bordering on the impossible, and every studio in town is watching to see if it will work. Hell, most of them own a piece of the movie.

So look, this is a note to the fanboys and fangirls. The true believers. Dedicated for life.

If the film made you think. Or argue with your friends. If it inspired a debate about the nature of man, or vigilante justice, or the horror of Nixon abolishing term limits. If you laughed at Bowie hanging with Adrian at Studio 54, or the Silhouette kissing that nurse.

Please go see the movie again next weekend.

You have to understand, everyone is watching to see how the film will do in its second week. If you care about movies that have a brain, or balls, (and this film's got both, literally), or true adaptations -- And if you're thinking of seeing it again anyway, please go back this weekend, Friday or Saturday night. Demonstrate the power of the fans, because it'll help let the people who pay for these movies know what we'd like to see. Because if it drops off the radar after the first weekend, they will never allow a film like this to be made again.

In the interests of full disclosure, let me also point out that I do not profit one cent from an increase in box office, although an increase in box office can add to the value of the writers' eventual residual profits from dvd and tv sales.

But I'm not saying it for money. I'm saying it for people like me. I'm saying it for people who love smart, dark entertainment, on a grand, operatic scale. I'm talking to the Snake fans, the Rorschach fans, the people of the Dark Knight.

And hey, if you hated the film, if you think we committed atrocities, or literary mistakes of a massive, cephalopodic nature. If the movie made you a little sick to your stomach, or made you feel bad about your life. If you hated it for whatever reason, that's cool too. I'm not suggesting you risk gastro-intestinal distress just for the sake of risky filmmaking.

But if you haven't seen it yet? Well, I'll just say this...

It may upset you. And it probably will upset you.

And all along, we really meant it to.

Because face it. All this time...You there, with the Smiley-face pin. Admit it.

All this time, you’ve been waiting for a director who was going to hit you in the face with this story. To just crack you in the jaw, and then bend you over the pool table with this story. With its utterly raw view of the darkest sides of human nature, expressed through its masks of action and beauty and twisted good intentions. Like a fry-basket full of hot grease in the face. Like the Comedian on the Grassy Knoll. I know, I know...

You say you don't like it. You say you've got issues. I get it.

And yet... You'll be thinking about this film, down the road. It'll nag at you. How it was rough and beautiful. How it went where it wanted to go, and you just hung on. How it was thoughtful and hateful and bleak and hilarious. And for Jackie Earle Haley.

Trust me. You'll come back, eventually. Just like Sally.

Might as well make it count for something.

Personally, I was always going to see Watchmen again on the big screen at some point, though I probably would've gone the middle of next week before I read this. Now, Friday afternoon is looking good again...

[In the unlikely event you don't get any/all of Hayter's references, I'll be fully linking this up later.]

Delay

The usual variety of updates will appear for Tuesday, but unfortunately I'm too busy to sort them this evening.

Expect them tomorrow, then, though they will still be dated for Tuesday night.

TV

Lark Rise to Candleford
2x09 Episode 9
By turns hilarious for good reasons (Minnie!) and hilarious for bad reasons (the sickening sentiment, such as when the two villages make up).
[Watch it (again) on iPlayer.]

Orangutan Diary
2x02 Episode 2 [2nd half]
[Watch it (again) on iPlayer.]

Non-Fiction

101 Sonnets edited by Don Paterson
Introduction

The Ode Less Travelled by Stephen Fry
Chapter Three: II-X (selections from)
Having to jump ahead, I'm afraid, in order to find bits relevant to the essay I was writing. Will resume normal service shortly.

Articles

7 Films That Must Be Saved From Development Hell by James White
(from Total Film)
I'm not convinced they all deserving saving, but some sound crackin'.

6 Unforgettable Opening Credits Sequences by James White
(from Total Film)
Several good choices, several key omissions.

Alex Proyas Describes How He Would Treat Dark City Sequel by Brian Warmoth
(from MTV Movies Blog)
Dark City is amazing and massively underrated. Consequently, a sequel would be amazing.

Eurovision bans Georgia's anti-Putin song by Leigh Holmwood
(from guardian.co.uk)
Shame.

LEGO Watchmen minifigs by Sir Nadroj by Andrew
(from The Brothers Brick)
I wish these were real. I want them.

Times fails to overturn 'internet publication rule' in court case by Afua Hirsch
(from guardian.co.uk)
Bloody Europe, meddling to ill effect again.

TV

Law & Order: UK
1x03 Vice
A rather good episode, though it's somewhat worrying how 'rape victims' in dramas are almost always faking it. I'm sure it seems like a good twist to the writers, but it does little to support real life rape cases (in which it is already near impossible to earn a conviction).
[Watch it (again) on ITV Player.]

Orangutan Diary
2x02 Episode 2 [1st half]
[Watch it (again) on iPlayer.]

Fiction

The Melancholy Death of Oyster Boy & Other Stories by Tim Burton

This falls into Poetry as much as Fiction: its a selection of narrative poems by film director Tim Burton, of varying length and able to be slotted into the nonsense tradition. All are written poetically, though one would describe his observance of form as lax at best -- even when he seems to be fitting a loose style, he frequently breaks it. While that's theoretically fine, most of the pieces read very rhythmically; some of his breaks actually support the rhythm, others shatter it.

My personal favourite was Anchor Baby -- it has a couple of serious flaws, but is otherwise brilliant. Stain Boy was also good. The titular tale is possibly the darkest of the lot, belying (as many do) the child-like nursery-rhyme style of the Burton's verse. But then, most of the best children's tales are, in their original form, surprisingly dark.

Perhaps the biggest flaw is Burton's tendency to repeat himself; not just with plots (they almost exclusively concern children who are born with some bizarre deformity and so remain outsiders -- working through his own childhood, perhaps?) but concepts. For example, there are two pieces about people afflicted by being pin cushions. Others are brief to the point of pointlessness, the prime offender being Jimmy, the Hideous Penguin Boy.

The whole text can be read online for free here. I have no idea if this is a legal copy or not.

Non-Fiction

The Making of a Poem by Mark Strand & Eavan Boland
The Sonnet (p.55-58)
Blank Verse (p.101-112)
The Heroic Couplet (p.121-134)
IV: Open Forms - Overview (p.259-260)
Another selection of randomised tidbits from this mighty tome. Theoretically in the name of essay writing, but it's actually very interesting -- brief enough to not be boring (unlike its introductions!), but detailed enough to be informative. Also simply explains the rules of writing various poetic forms, which is extremely handy.